So, being a twin mom of course has its many up’s and I wouldn’t so much say that there are downs, because as hard as it is you have two babies; however, there are many annoyances of being a twin mom and here is my list of 10!
- Are they twins? People constantly approach you and ask if they are twins, ALL THE TIME. I mean I seriously cannot go anywhere without atleast 3 people approaching me and asking me about this. Yes, they are twins, is that not obvious when you see to newborn looking babies both in infant car seats? I cannot go anywhere without attracting this kind of attention. Sometimes its nice, when that nice old grandma comes up to you and tells you her story of how her grandkids had twins, or if another twin mom approaches and says “oh, you have twins to. Mine are ___ years old. Good luck!”. But other times, I just want to go to the mall or sip on my coffee in peace and not be approached and bombarded with questions.
- Do twins run in your family? This is the second question I get asked. Which honestly is just a polite and more discrete way of finding out whether or not the twins were conceived via other methods such as IVF. Hello?!?! How rude! It does not matter how I made them, whether it was the old fashioned way or I had gone through IVF treatments. For me I just say it runs n the family, however I can’t even imagine if I had done IVF and gotten asked this. I just think it is extremely rude and again nobody’s business. If the person wants to share this with you, they will. There is no need to ask this.
- Are they natural? This is another form of question 2. I find this one, just the flat out, must rude now to ask! If you go through rounds of IVF and put your body through that. The last thing you want somebody telling you is that your babies are “unnatural”. The mom had the same pregnancy and pushed them out or had a c-section the same way that “natural” babies happen. So what does it matter? Don’t be rude. Think before you speak.
- Are they boy twins or girl twins? Well one is wearing blue and the other is in a pink dress with a bow. There is such a thing as fraternal twins. Yes, they are brother and sister. Yes, that is possible. Yes, they were in separate sacks. No, it is not possible that they are identical still. YES—these are my answers to all the follow up questions I get asked CONSTANTLY!
- Are you breastfeeding? Why does it matter? Are you just trying to judge me? Do the babies not look nice and pulp to you. They are getting fed. Who cares which way they are getting fed? FYI: I tried breastfeeding at the beginning for a couple of weeks, with no result. I pumped 30ml in one pump session, one time and I was so excited about it. But then it never happened again. PS. the babies were eating 30ml each every 3 hours at that point. So this was not an option…
- Can I see? No, you cannot; would be the appropriate answer if I was given the opportunity to answer before people literally mid-question of “can I see?” come up to the stroller, pull up the hoods of the stroller and say “I have to see”. No. No. No. No you do not have to see. It will not change your life in any way, whether you see or not. I do not know you, you do not know me, the twins definitely don’t know you, so there is absolutely no reason that you need to touch my stroller to make my children visible to you. This is NOT COOL. —–AND EVEN WORSE, YOU DO NOT NEED TO TOUCH THEM!
- When one cries does he wake the other? Well if you were sleeping and somebody starting screaming in your ear, would you wake up? Be logical…answer your questions. Obviously they wake each other up. This is why at this point in time they are in separate rooms at night.
- What do you do when they both cry? Well, sometimes I just sit and cry with them. Other times I put my big girl pants on and grab both and rock from side to side, and other times I just talk one calm them down and then take the other and calm them down. No baby has ever died from crying a bit. They will cry, they will get over it, both myself and them will all survive, tears and all 🙂
- How do you do it? I could never do it. Yes you can do it to. When you don’t have a choice you just figure it out and do what you gotta do. I don’t know the difference between having one or two as a new mom. I don’t actually know that it is easier with one. However, now that I have had two, when I go out for the day with one, I feel like it is incredibly simple and I really enjoy the day. I also enjoy not being approached and asked a million questions. I can sip on my coffee, enjoy lunch…because apparently just having one baby isn’t good enough anymore—nobody approaches me with one.
- Are they developing in the same way as a singleton? Well, 1. I don’t have a singleton, so I don’t know how quickly or slowly they develop. 2. They are almost 4 months, we have not yet submitted their University applications, but they are getting where they need to be at more or less the same pace as a regular baby I would guess.
Bonus Questions! The cherry on top of the cake. This is the best question I have been asked to date:
“So how many months apart are your two babies?”
Me: “They’re twins.”
“So how many months apart does that mean they are?”
………this is where I contemplated, whether she confused months with minutes, whether she actually does not know what twins are or whether she is just being stupid and trying to piss me off. I just politely nodded and walked away in the other direction.
Please share any ridiculous questions you have been asked. I would love to hear them! Whether you have twins or not, I want to know what other questions are possibly out there!